A woman can experience stress in any age depend on her stage of journey and circumstances in life. There is no objective way to tell you if you have had a good life, a good day, or a good hour. It’s not what happens to you but how you think about what happened. I couldn't agree more with Murakami Haruki (Japanese author) to tell that "you are not supposed to grow old gradually. Some person is aging fast in just a moment. Why? Age is just a number. A woman is old is not shown by her first wrinkle or his first gray hair, but when the time she started to give up." I had read a blog post from Michael Hyatt about how to ask yourself the right questions to change your life. I borrow his suggested "right questions" for developing state of mindset to stay positive when there are road bumps along my journey.
Q1. What does this make possible?
A career mom asks herself what does this make possible to care for the baby without quitting the corporate job. A single mom asks herself what does this make possible to raise the kids without financial support. A right question helps you to re-orient your perspective from the mist of trouble to the new possibilities. You are capable to figure out everything, after all.
“Just because it's dark it doesn't mean we're underground.
It often means that no one has bothered to turn on any lights.” ~ Seth Godin
Q2. What if it’s not the end but a new beginning?
What if you have a baby is the end of your career life but start the best career you want the most? What if the end of the toxic relationship is the beginning of your new story with a happy ending? Reflection of the past is only good for one thing: learning. You ask yourself “what if it’s not the end but a new beginning” helps you to drag out from the notion that you are suck. You can shift your perspectives from what you had missed from a new point of view that it’s the new beginning.
Q3. What if the answer is over the next hill?
When you’re struggling with the financial hardship; or
When you’re exhausted with the resistant child; or
When you have a terrible time with your hubby...
When bad things happen, you felt like a load of bricks had dropped on you. You may not see the solution now. You ask yourself “what if the answer is over the next hill?” help to lengthen your horizon. If you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t be able to function. Don’t write yourself off. You may not see the solution now. Over time, you tend to work things out. Events are temporary. Your feeling of distress will pass. Your life will take you in new directions.
Q4. What if I need this to prepare me for the next chapter?
We go through changes in stages of our life. We change jobs, shift careers, and change role from a girl to a mom life. When bad things happen, we are disappointed, frustrated, and angry:
Why I’m the one to get fire?
Why I’m so clumsy to handle the relationship?
Why I don’t have any control over my child.
Why does my child have autism?
Change is painful. We could trace our current position to every decision we have ever made. But it wouldn’t get us to anywhere. What you need to do is think about how you can get from where you are to where you want to be. Instead of asking why, you should be asking “what’s next”.
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, she turned into a butterfly ~ from the proverb
There is no clear line between comedy and tragedy. Comedy is tragedy plus time ~ from Carol Burnett
Q5. What if God know exactly what I need?
The world is full of mysteries and everywhere there are questions. God teaches us that much of what we see is so complex we cannot understand why and how it occurred. Even if we don’t get it yet, may be god does. When we are suffering from sorrow, anguish, and pain, religion gives us hope and peace of mind. We never know what is the plan from God arranges for us, but we do know God has always been there for us.
Q6. What if God’s speaking to me in these troubles and blessing me?
When you are frustrated under a difficult situation, we ask ourselves what if God’s speaking to me in these troubles and blessing me from the adversity. God has the plan for the purpose and meaning of our life. Nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. Just like the the story about the fern and the bamboo:
THE FERN AND THE BAMBOO (from unknown source)
God planted the fern and the bamboo seeds. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. After 5 years the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
God tell the bamboo:
“You had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made you strong and gave you what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.”
“Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.”
“Don't compare yourself to others.” He said. “The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.”
A mom, feminine optimistic style, love to travel. Addict to coffee