Happiness is a laughing matter. Don’t you think that we all born with the membrane of happiness? Babies start smiling and laughing after a couple of months they come to this world, their feet kick, hands clasp. They use their body language attempting to tell everyone how much they are excited to feel the joy of happiness in this world. When you watch children running around the playground, you will think they are having so much fun. Children run around and play as if by instinct. Sometimes the children know better than we do about the pursuit for happiness. The research told us that a child laughs 200 times per day as an average because the children get no cap on their curiosity to explore, whatever they see is interesting. They express their love in the most direct evangelist form.
When time goes by, their hearts began to harden up to deal with the world that is too loud, too fast, too bright, and too cruel to bear. Parents, teachers, and peers formulate some conditioning to tell the kid who he is supposed to be, act and think like, in order to get what he wants. The kid might think whatever he is doing can never reach the parent’s expectation. The connection between his true self and the ego-self is broken. If a person has the heart of a child, he would smile a lot more, cry less, and laugh harder. Let the kid keeps his child heart from his early years until his twilight years.
How to spend time with your kid enjoying a good laugh from our days?
1. Shake the track of routine
Traveling is a great way to make the routine a shake. Let’s go somewhere. Pack the things, go travel. There is no place that the kid isn’t curious to explore, no food that he isn’t determined to try, no cap on his curiosity and no ceiling. How many worlds would the kid make up in his head? Every trip liked an Easter egg-riddled journey. He would be so excited when you try to bring his curriculum alive through a trip to a place he is studying. What are inside the jar of memories from traveling? It might be the experience to stay in a tree house, enjoyed the sunlight through the tangle of green limbs swaddled the tree house like a living hammock. The memories must be the adventure occupied by laughing, inclusiveness, and a big heart.
2. Allow yourself some time to laugh, to be silly, with your kid.
Children have a full-time occupation. It calls playing! When your child asks you to play with him, you might say, I don’t have time for that. Adults have responsibilities, we are serious. What if play with the kid, right now, this minute.
I think to have a little fun, a time for pure silliness and happiness with your kid is an essential part of every day.
3. Find humor in a difficult situation, you win.
I have heard a story like that:
John was a famous artist. One day, a car hit him just as he turned around. The careless driver got out of the car and checked whether John got hurt or not. John said, “Oh, you are bad luck. If you killed me by this accident, your name could appear on the news headline!”
There is no objective way to tell you if you have a good day or a good hour. Your life is a success based only upon your judgment. It is not what happened, it is how you think about what happened. The same event can be seen positively, or it can be seen negatively. It depends upon your perspective. The ability to find humor in a difficult situation is a character to see the world through a positive lens, and subconsciously tell the mind that everything is ok. Positive energy is contagious. It did help the kid to build up a positive attitude to go through a hard time.
We are always right. At least, we think so. When we can’t get our kids to do what we want them to do, we push harder, throw out tantrum, we shout. And the kid responds with even more resistance, trigger their defensive mode, shutting us out. At the moment of the heated argument, each of us is sure the other person is the one who is wrong. In fact, there is nothing to be gained from letting yourself become adversarial with your loved ones. How much more important these people are to you than is the issue you are talking about. How to deal with your emotion to avoid the heated argument?
1. Mind your thinking
Toddlers have tantrums. Adults should solve problems. Ever wonder your negative emotion is demonstrating your fear after all? The fear that fuels a narrative of being unheard. The fear that you’re not good enough. The fear that this might be the last chance you get to make everything exactly perfect. Your frustration becomes complaints; grudges become insulting words; helplessness becomes sarcastic.
2. Mind your words
From parents, critical words cut deeply. If you must say something negative, always be constructive. Make your criticism reflect your love and respect, not disappointment. When we use the common word such as stupid, it carries a range of meaning from ill-considered to ignorant. Maybe you meant it in the nicest possible terms, but even then, when speaking to someone, especially someone close, you have to assume that your words will be taken in the strongest, least positive way.
3. Pause before act
Quoted from someone (forget from whom) to say that we take months to learn how to talk, but we take years to learn how to listen. I am not trying to underestimate the ability of the kid to trigger your hot button. You don’t need to back talk immediately. Pause before to response the verbal stimulus. We well aware heated argument can't make thing better.
I ask you, and then you tell me. It means trust
I don’t ask you, and you don’t tell me. What a sort of distance?
I ask you, and you don’t tell me. It is a gap.
I don’t ask you, and you want to tell me. It is reliance.
One day, I told my dad that I felt upset because my hubby won’t listen to my words, all the times. He was unreasonable, not willing to do the thing what I wanted him to do. The response from my dad added fuel to the fire. He said, “You and your mom are alike. Your hubby is not your pet. Why he should do all the things you wanted him to do?" My dad seemed like trying to tell me I was a control freak! Ever heard people said that interfering and controlling was natural to women behavior? We might have a particular view of how things should happen, and we do whatever we need to do to make sure events unfold in what we have determined is the right way. When applying to parenting, we try to exert complete control over all activities to our kids with a don’t do list such as..
Don’t eat candies
Don’t talk with strangers
Don’t get the dirt
Don’t fight with your sibling
Don’t talk to me like that
Don’t touch the toys before finishing your homework
Over time, our kids act for authority approval. They are busy to do what other people tell them to do for the sake of certainty to get the rewards, or at least to get out from the trouble. They tend to believe that who has the power or who holds the authority meant for the law of righteousness. When they were settled to be ok in yesterday, probably it is ok today, and perhaps it should be ok tomorrow. The kid might walk through his journey with the disconnection between his true self and the stereotype conditioning self which base on approval and obligation.
1. Let the kid be his own fan
The kids need self-reinforcement, a belief in themselves that is strong and unwavering. Quoted from Albert Einstein to tell that “the reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. All progress depends on the unreasonable man.” For those who believe, it is only a challenge. The kids are happiest when they allow their individual personality to come out, not when they conform to the images that have nothing to do with who they are. They can build up their self-esteem to believe that they are not what is in the glass. They are the glass. They are the one holding the glass. When the kids get into that, they will be ecstatic, live their life with joy and happiness.
2. We are their role model mentor
We only live 20 to 30 years older than our kids which don’t mean that we know everything better than them and try to control every step in their life. On the other hands, we are the role model to our kid as a mirror. A role model is a mentor, not a dictator. I think It would be great if I can be the role model to
show the confidence on the face
grow the kindness in the heart
melt the integrity into the blood
craft the determination in life.
3. Disobedience is ok
What makes the parents think they are successful? Is it when the kid performed a set of expectations you told him to do? When the kid is resistant and rebellion against your order, you might feel upset and furious. Probably they are not intended to take pleasure to make your day miserable, but merely not agree with you in some points of your thinking. It is not a bad thing that the kids don’t feel risky to challenge the authority, and voice out to ask questions.
Ever wonder why the child regard sharing is a negative thing. When I told my child to share his toys or his candies to the others, he would say:
“Why you always ask me to share my thing with the other, you don’t love me anymore?”
“I don’t have that much, if I share it with him, I won’t have any left”
“Why I have to share? I play the toy first, lets him play later after I don’t want to play.”
1. Share means Loss?
The traditional schooling tries to tell the children that the world operates by finite resources in scarcity. They are playing the zero-sum game. From the children point of view, share means loss. They adopted the scarcity model of pizza. I won’t have any left if I share it with you.
Share doesn’t mean lost. It’s more useful to think if I share with you, we will both have it. Or change the child perspective, sharing with others doesn't mean lost, it means to take turns to play it.
The conversation can be like this…
Mom: Mommy understands your feeling. You had played this toy already. The other children haven’t played this toy yet. Let’s the other child play it, and you wait for your turn again
Mom: This toy is played by whom moment before?
Mom: You played the toy just before. Let's another child to play it. You wait for a while, and then you take your turn later.
2. More necessarily mean better?
No surprise the first question from a child when someone gives him something, and then he would say I can get only one? Or can I get another one?
More necessary mean better? I observe the children get the behavior that when they desperately want a specific toy, their whole world revolves around getting this one toy, or otherwise they would feel like they lost their universe. Once their parents buy that toy for them, their joy fades out. They want something else. If they can’t appreciate what they have, more is not a good thing and won’t make them happier. It’s more useful to let the child appreciates what he owns at present and what he may own in the future. They can have nice things and not fear someone would take away from them.
You can talk with your child something like this:
“You play this toy for a long time already, why not exchange the toy with John? You see, his toy can speak.”
“You haven’t played this one before! His toy seems very interesting. Exchange your toy with John. You and John will both have the fun.”
3. Learn the gratitude
Why did some children find it difficult to show gratitude towards the other people? They take it for granted for whatever nice things happen to them. Mostly, you hear more about the complaints from them than to give thanks for dinner, thanks for the ride, and so on.
It’s good to have the dinner conversation about sharing three things they were grateful on that day (don’t cheat and settle for two!).
My girl might tell me something like:
The positive notes help the kids feeding their brains with habitual positive oriented thinking instead of getting stuck in a pattern of negativity. The children learn whatever happened to them are gifted. Sharing the positive stories make them feel connected, and spread the love.
All in all, sharing doesn’t mean to back off when someone tries to take your thing by force. The child should learn to judge the situation. He should learn to protect himself and don’t imitate the bad behavior.
What Could Women Eat Differently To Keep Their Skin Look Glowing? Recipe of Mediterranean Salad with Salmon
What are the main ingredients for a woman beauty? A beautiful woman should own the flawless, clear, and supple baby soft skin to look young and healthy. I’m on the long journey to explore the way about how to make my skin to look glowing. Spend more with less effort is by consuming tons of skin care cosmetic stuff might be an easy shortcut method. Shortcut method always means short term. The health of your gut is fundamental for skin care. Have you ever heard people say that “garbage-in, garbage-out”? This logic couldn’t apply for how our body system work. The input of junk food into our body would culminate to release the toxic chemical which affects the hormones, speed up the aging process of organs, overweight, and hazardous to our health. Mindful eating to consume plant-based healthy food, loading the rich fiber to clean the gut.
1. Juicing vs. Eating the Vegetables in their Whole Form
It's a great way to take my time to consume loads of vitamins and minerals from fruits and vegetable juice. I read from the magazine to tell Gwyneth Paltrow and Miranda Kerr to take their de-toxic drink keeping their weight down. The recipes look good...
Fruits and vegetable juice can’t replace eating vegetables in their whole form. A healthy diet should contain a mix of both soluble and insoluble fiber. The optimum ratio is 1:2. However, juicing would remove the insoluble fiber. Insoluble fiber helps to cleanse the gut, remove the bacteria, strengthen the immune system, and reduce fatigue. Most of the juice you can buy in the supermarket has added sugar which results in excessive sugar consumption and causes you overweight.
The juice has nearly no vitamin C. Vitamin C helps to regulate the cortisol level, and the stressful people would consume more vitamin C. For those people who only drink the juice would consume insufficient vitamin C result in feeling tired, fatigue, and bedridden.
Drinking juice gets insufficient vitamin B which can help to produce serotonin. Serotonin is the happy hormones with a relaxing effect on the nerves system to reduce tension and help you to sleep well. Good sleep makes you feel better and banish your under-eye circles.
Eating vegetables increase the feeling of fullness, feeling satisfied after each meal, without eating much calorie.
2. Real Fresh vs. Artificial Fresh
The leaves of vegetables with holes chewed in them are probably not appealing to you. Ever wonder why you bought the salad from the supermarket and stored in the fridge for weeks and it could keep “evergreen” without any sign of decay. The brightly colored fruits and the perfect green vegetables without any holes look so perfect to deceive you that they are garden fresh and sticky-sweet. The fruits taste a bit sour is natural. Vegetables with holes may have bugs chewed in them. High concentration of pesticides can get rid of the bugs which make the green looks good but harmful to our health.
Recipe: Mediterranean Salad with Salmon
Mixed vegetable salad with salmon
Make the lemon basil vinaigrette:
Make the salad:
Make the salmon
In a large bowl mix the fresh salad ingredients together, dressing with lemon basil vinaigrette, drizzle feta cheese over top and serve with the salmon.
Add-on Tips Other Than The Diet
1. Chew thoughtfully
Enjoy your food, chew thoughtfully, and relax when eating. Otherwise, you put a strain on the digestive system and increase your susceptibility to intolerants.
2. 70% full per meal.
Eat frequent, 70% full per meal. Occasionally fasting to allow the gut to take a rest and refresh. No breakfast and dinner, afternoon eat a lot of vegetables.
3. Do exercise
Exercise is good to increase circulation, ease cramps, reduce stress, improves mood, stabilize hormones and keep your weight down.
4. Intention to smile
Your smile makes other people happy, which in turn make you happy. It is a magical thing that will brighten your days and the days of people around you, and yet cost you nothing, and improve your mood.
What do the fat people eat?
They eat the food with a lot of sugar.
What do the skinny people eat?
They eat the food with less sugar.
The men wonder why the women love dessert so much as if her stomach has reserved a space for dessert whatever how full she is. When I am happy, I want to eat something sweet. When I am down, I also want to eat something sweet. Ever wonder what the sugar can do to affect our mood?
Why do you tend to eat something sweet when you feel stressful? The brain loves sugar, 85% of the energy comes from sugar. The sugar makes the glucose in your body inflated. Insulin helps to keep your blood sugar level from getting too high. As a result, your body is fermented to generate the emotion of stress and anxiety. Consuming too much sugar is not a good thing. I can't understand why women tend to love desserts or sweets more than any other food. Homemade skinny desert by using less sugar can feed your desire to eat something sweet. I like to eat the Japanese souffle pancake. It is my favorite food not only for dessert, but take it as breakfast as well. It is super airy, like souffle.
What is the diet of energetic people?
They eat broth.
What is the diet of fatigue people?
They don't eat broth.
The dietitians told us glutamic acid works for the health of our immune and digestive system, and energy production as well. It has the benefit to protect the intestinal mucosa, destroy harmful bacteria, and lower the colon cancer risk. It contributes to boots the health of the nervous system, produce the serotonin to reduce stress and anxiety. Food such as shellfish, kombu, mushrooms, and tomatoes contain glutamic acid. Bouillabaisse is one of my favorite soup that combines the health benefits with the delicious taste. What is bouillabaisse? It is the classic Provençal seafood stew from the French port city of Marseilles. This broth is the finest way to consume fresh seafood which is super delicious. Whereas, the quality of the ingredients determines the perfect art of culinary through the flavors of the seafood to shine through.
1. Make sure the fishes are fresh
Pick what is available in where you live. What fishes are in season or what are the fishermen’s big catch. How to tell the fish is fresh? The fish grill has the smell of seawater instead of the fishy or decay smell. The fish eyes are black and white clear, eye white has transparent reflective color, not in diffuse color. When you cut the fish into pieces, the fresh fish fillet should appear light red, not pale dull.
If you bought the fishes from the store but not prepare to cook immediately, you don’t need to washing or rinsing the fishes. Wrapped them up with paper, put inside a plastic bag, and stored in the fridge. This help to prolong the freshness of the fishes.
Cod is my favorite choice. The trick is to pick the white-light skin cod which tell it comes from the cold ocean where should be their perfect living environment. How about the cod with darker skin color? They taste fishy because they come from the warmer ocean.
2. Buy what kind of clams, mussels, and shrimps?
The shell appears shiny if they are produced or raised in the aquaculture farm. Shellfishes from the sea catch which get a better taste. Add white wine on them to reduce the fishy smell and tastier.
3. Use the best oil
There are various kinds of healthy oil including sesame oil, walnut oil, or morocco culinary argan oil. Olive oil is nice. It is not so simple if you regard the extra virgin olive oil is the best of its type, and some would use the chemical enhancer. How to tell the oil is good?
Health Benefits about broth
Meat and fish are rich in nucleic acid. Nucleic acid contains inosinic acid and guanylic acid helps to boost mentalism with anti-aging properties. Probiotic food such as fermented tuna, miso soup, yogurt, and raw cheese helps to prevent the illnesses like Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), diverticulosis, and colon cancer. You know what? If you have a healthy bowel movement and your colon is clean, it helps to maintain healthy skin and anti-aging.
Did you tell yourself that your child was born to be a winner? Jenny is my friend who makes use of all opportunities to tell everyone that her kid is the smartest person in the universe.
Jenny: Amy (her kid) is god damn smart. She started to talk early, learned faster than his classmates, and achieved the highest grade among the peers…
Me: Well, yes, Amy is smart. I have no doubt about this.
Jenny: That’s all you say? Your baby is also a genius. She can catch up with the others if you help her scheduling more learning classes before it’s too late...
Did this sound familiar to you? Other parents always tell you what you should do and what you shouldn’t do as if they define your to-do-list, or you require someone to judge what is the meaning for your happiness. When we compare ourselves to those who have more, we feel bad. When we compare ourselves to those who have less, we feel grateful. Comparing your kid with the other would trigger his negative emotion of envy and jealousy in his life, so do the parents compare among themselves. Ever wonder if your neighbor has a luxury car or get broke has anything to do with you? And actually, we never know anyone else’s situation. When you see your friend’s family who always seems to be traveling around the world, they could be up to their eyeballs in credit card debt and about to get fired by their boss.
You can't outsource the homeschooling to the traditional schooling system. Our schooling system tries to tell our kids that we live in a world of a zero-sum game, all people are in a race, the point is to win. It tells you have to win over the ones next to you and beat down everyone else to move up. If you are not up, then you will be out. The kid would get used to evaluating people and objects by compare and contrast, not by their substances. The true is no one can win everyone all the time. Just like a running horse, some of the time it can run very fast, some other time it would run slower. Criticize the child from comparing with others is not a way for improvement to the child development. He would go through his life, at a deep core, that he is not good enough.
Imagine you are walking a snail. The snail is moving very slow and frustrates to catch up in baby steps. You blame it and yelling at it. The snail stares at you in regret as if to tell you it has already done its best. You continue to pull it and kick it. The snail is hurt, sweating and choking. And it is moving forward, slowly. The joyful time spends together become so hard on each other.
Home is the safe place where the child can go as he is and not be questioned. If your kid is not doing well in school, lighten up! Some people do very well in school and you think they will be superstars…they aren’t. You see some people who are written off but achieve tremendous things...I would like to see my kid who is able to solve the interesting problems rather than obtain the grade A in school. The child can thrive in the endeavor for the self-improvement and personal advancement. They are on the journey to take the responsibilities in which they excel and ask for help when they are struggling.
Like most of the parents, I do believe my child well equip with his unique talents. He would not be a background character in someone else film. It’s my responsibility to help him hear his inner voice, follow his passion, and unlock his talents for crafting the path leading to happiness and success.
People talk about talent. Most people would get more than one talent. How to spot and nurture talent in your child? What would your child love to do for the sake of doing? Even just for 15 minutes. Just like the fish is the last to realize the water. Does the kid get the instinct talking to him as if he already knows what he wants to do, how to do it, and can do better than anybody else?
However, I couldn't agree more that talent is only half way journey. It is not uncommon a child is vulnerable to the distraction from all sort of entertainment. The child is easily getting bored. My kid is a genius in playing musical instruments, but he has a bad habit for not able to finish what he had started. One day, I asked my kid, “What is your dream?” You know what? When I expected he would tell me he wanted to be a musician or to be a bus driver. He told me his dream was effortless to get everything he wanted! All gain, no pain?! Maybe he watches the TV program too much.
Success won't happen without perseverance.
if people only knew how hard I worked to gain my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful at all (~ Michelangelo)
Imagine a sculptor looks at his piece of stone and endlessly questions of new ways to shape it. Learning and practicing day after day so that the work always in progress. Doing what the child is good at is important, and develop the habit of the child keeps on practicing until he can master the skill for proficiency is more important. Well, yes, the child should develop the virtue of perseverance and this can begin at home.
Home is where the kid learns the virtues of life. It's where our children learn how to love and care. Our virtues imbue in our children shape their lives and futures. I think gardening or planting with kids is a great way to build the virtue of patience. Planting seeds and watching them grow helps children learn the beauty of patience. Children learn they can’t achieve the desired end overnight. It takes time and effort same as the plant starts from a seed, grow to become strong, flowering and blossom. They gain the sense of satisfaction and accomplishment from caring something over time.
We are meant to have goals in our life. Money is not the goal. It's a means to reach our goal. It requires more patience and more planning when we make use of this resources. What would you like to do other than making money?
1. Spot a dream place to visit
Curiosity is more important than money. We all want to go to our dreamland. Where is your dreamland? Spot a place that you have fascinated for long to have a visit. It is my curiosity to explore the different between the dreamland on my mind and the reality. I would like to visit Wordsworth House in Cockermouth of Cumberland. You feel amazing to follow the footsteps of Wordsworth to find whether the golden daffodils are growing “beside the lake, beneath the trees "fluttering and dancing in the breeze" and "tossing their heads in sprightly dance“. I wonder whether the daffodils are really so much beautiful same with Wordsworth had described in his poetry. I really want to take a closer look.
2. Handmade my signature stuff
Homemade D.I.Y stuff is a creature adventure. It is easy, frugal, creative and fulfilling. It demands from us to focus both physically and mentally on a task. If you’re concentrating on your crafty work, you can’t be worrying about anything. It also gives a great feeling of pride in using your hands to create something unique. There is something wonderful about pointing to your baby’s shoes and saying “I did that". Every stuff has its own character, it charms, you feel good about your creativity. You make it and your loved one used it.
3. Set up the romantic moment with your partner
Sometimes, I feel tired in a relationship, I talk to myself:
I can do much work as any man,
I know how to cook my food;
I can do my laundry;
I can earn the money to support my kids;
I can drive the car to any place I want to go;
I can even fight and beat a strong person;
I have friends to hang out with...
If so, I don't need a man....
And when I felt loneliness, I wanted to find the companionship. I realized that someone you couldn't find, someone you shouldn’t find, and someone you were not able to find...
Well, yes, you would feel so good to have someone that you want to spend the time in the rest of your life and a heart fill with love. When you feel tired in a relationship, do you remember the day you first start talking with each other? Travel back in time when you first met him. You knew that exciting, terrifying feeling like butterflies in your stomach. Set up the romantic moment with him, have a candle light dinner, end with a kiss like the first time all over again....
4. Organize a crazy party gathering
Gathering with the school friends bring me back to the days when I was 20 something youth. Friendship beat money. People around keep talking, telling jokes, someone burst out laughing. It is the magic of the community leads to happy quality time.
5. Be a volunteer
While you give your time to help the local charity, you feel good about yourself not only because you are helping others, it will also help you. Maybe you can join the program of foster parents by using a couple of hours reading, playing, sitting, and talking with children. Give the children love and attention.
6. Read a book
My world is boring. I want something new and exciting to feed my brains. Reading a book is a great way to explore something extraordinary out of my realm of understandings. It gives me a lot of fun, imagination, entertainment, and learning.
A mom, feminine optimistic style, love to travel. Addict to coffee