How to break the pattern of a failed relationship?

What is a toxic relationship?
It is when you overwhelm with negative feelings toward your spouse and trigger your anger and emotions.  You feel like he is

• Irresponsible
• Disrespectful
• Neglect you to pay more attention to someone else or something else
• Embrace bad habits

And so on…
 
Venting out the emotions to someone else or divorce is not the solution.  The repeated pattern will carry on.  Is there any way to get over the repeated pattern? 

When you start to love yourself 
respect yourself
trust yourself
honest to yourself
You will surprise the relationship with others will change.  

1. Respect

Have you respected your needs and feelings anywhere and anytime?
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Ever happen in some circumstances where your heart says no, but you decide to say yes, instead.  You never reject others because you want to cope with the expectation of someone else.  If you care enough to respect your needs, you will respect others to make their choice for their needs.  Even if that choice is not what you expected, you will never feel angry.
 
You respect yourself, and you will respect others, and others will respect you.
If you never respect yourself, and you won’t respect others, and others won’t respect you.
 
Use respect to replace disagreement.

2.  Trust

You trust yourself to do the right thing that is best for yourself.  Same as you trust that your spouse will do the right thing for himself.
 
For instance, if he is an alcoholic, you trust he is doing the right thing for himself as this may be his way to release his pressure or release the pain from his mental health.
 
Use the trust to replace judging.

3. ​Honest to Yourself

You are honest with yourself about who you are and being authentic. You may look weird from the lens of the community.

• I like this and dislike that
• I choose this and reject that
• I do this and won’t do that 

You cover your true self to fit in the expectation of others to be the stereotype of a widely accepted person but preoccupy with anguish and emotional suffering.  When you start loving yourself, you feel good about yourself to live as an authentic being.
 
Instead of trying to change the person, you accept who he is.  You can recognize that emotional pain and grief are just warnings for him not to live against his authentic truth.

You and your spouse feel comfortable with each other. There is no covering, no role-playing, no lies, no imitation.

4. ​Allowance

Allow I’m imperfect.
Allow I’m vulnerable.
Allow I’ve plenty of weakness.
Allow I have made stupid mistakes.
 
As I allow myself for those human weaknesses, so do I understand you will get those weaknesses as well.  When something goes wrong, I will never blame myself or blame you.
 
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All in all, the toxic substances in a relationship such as hate, anger, and judging will replace by respect, trust, support, and love.
 
You know what?  Who is willing to abandon such kind of beautiful person?

​You may argue that it is not so simple. Well, yes, of course. It's a starting point for building your love story.