Be Authentic Series: The Signs

I almost always don’t stay true to myself.  One day, my coworker invited me to her birthday party. I said yes, but I didn’t want to join. On her birthday, I tried to figure out plenty of reasons to explain my absence. 

We learned as early as our childhood to grow into a good person.  The definition of being a good guy seems like is to fulfill the expectation of other people.  As time goes by, we program ourselves to fit-in the role we suppose to be. Under this condition, we bear a great deal of pressure and suppress our emotions to avoid adversaries.  Some people might shift their anger to those they deem weaker such as children, women, and subordinate staff.

I know I won’t be happy if everyone dislikes me;
but what’s the point if everyone likes me, but I dislike myself?

How do you respond under pressure at some point in your life?  If you get the following signs means you are not authentic to yourself to a certain extent.

1. ​Compromise quickly to avoid conflicts and tension.  You want to make people like you.
2. Response to fight back or judging others sarcastically. Finger-pointing to blame others.
3. To say something nonsenses or irrelevance to divert attention from the adversary issue.
4. Use complicated theories and logical explanations to analyze the issue without a point of view.

Ever wonder the opposite desires are fighting with each other in our mind.  We’re so tired of working between balancing and off-balancing.  

I like it.  I dislike it.
The other people like it.  The other people don’t like it.
I’m okay.  I’m not okay.
I’m right.  I may be wrong.
I’ll win.  I’ll lose.

So, what can we do about this?  Practice mindfulness.  How to connect with your inner-self so that you can clarify your thoughts, feelings, and intentions?  Asking yourself the following questions:
​

• What moments do you feel cherished?
• What makes you feel sad or regretful?
• What makes you proud of yourself?

 
The journey helps you to get your most pure inner child to be seen. Whatever the answers are, ensure you appreciate who you are and tell yourself that you have already worked very hard and done very well. Focus on what matters most to you. Love yourself with the courage of being disliked by others.
 
Easier said than done, of course.  It takes effort and worthwhile.