Choose Your Self-Talk Wisely

What kind of self-talk is helpful to you? It should carry the meaning to set you free from being depressed and drive you to become the best version of yourself.

1. I'm Where I Should Be

If we put enormous effort into doing the work for the desired outcome and the outcome is not what we suppose it should happen, we would easily drag down to negative emotions of disappointment, sadness, and guilty.
 
During the hard times, we ask ourselves:
Why can this happen? 
Why me?
What if I did more? 
What if I did less?
Had I done anything wrong that caused such a punishment to me?
 
Anything that had happened was irreversible. 
You were not able to kick the wall to expect it to become a door (quote from someone)
 
I’m where I should be. 
 
Everything has timing:
Time to live, time to die;
Time to meet, time to leave;
Time to start, time to end;
I’m where I should be
Never too fast, never too late.
 
The more you resist, persist.
Learn to trust in God to take care of everything.
I'm where I should be. 

2.  I Could Be All Wrong

​The communication conflict between two persons is about each of them regarding the other person is wrong.  It is about our certainty of rightness that makes heated arguments heated.  How unlikely we’re always right, and they’re always wrong.

Quoted from someone (forget from whom) to say that we take months to learn how to talk, but we take our life to learn how to listen.  I am not trying to underestimate the ability of someone to trigger your hot button.  You don’t need to backtalk immediately.  Pause before to response the verbal stimulus. Calm down your emotions to tell yourself:

​I could be all wrong.

3. Thanks For Sharing

What is your feeling if someone tries to tell you:
You are not good enough;
You are not smart enough;
You are unlikely to make it;
You are weak;
It’s impossible
 
Can these negative judgments affect your emotions?
Can these negative opinions cause you to sway between your self-esteem and self-doubt?
 
Do it, or not do it
I am okay, or I am not okay
I can achieve this, or this will never happen
 
The two opposite channels are fighting with each other in your head.  The bad news is the negative channel always wins.  What makes it difficult because you have no obvious answer. 
Why?
 
Human cognition of things is incomplete and flawed, and we are inevitably easy to make mistakes.  When someone tries to tell you that you are unlikely to succeed, the negative comments may remind you of your past failures and amplify the impact that had hurt you before.  Bring back your power and control.  Don't let your past define your future.  

You tell yourself the response is: Thank you for your sharing.
 

You always have a choice.  Don’t look around but ahead.  Breathe, trust, and see what happens.  Life is too short to spend day after day wondering what would happen if we do things otherwise.  Use your best judgement. Just do it!