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Women Blossom Blog

Mom's Secrets:  Beware The Words You Use To Create A Jealous Child

2/21/2021

14 Comments

 
​Ever wonder there must be something that can trigger your hot button instantly.
Think carefully about what’d happened in the past that could stir up your negative emotion intensely. I couldn't control my flame when I knew that..
  • ​My co-workers got more friends than me;
  • My boss picked the person next to me for promotion;
  • My friend got a higher salary than me;
  • My hubby paid more attention to another woman than me.
​OMG! It’s a matter of jealousy. I always like to compare myself with someone else. How did other people think about me? Did they respect me and like me? It seems like my self-worth requires other people to define or judge.  The emotion that appears on the surface is angry. The underlying core emotion is fear or insecurity. I fear the other person will take away the thing that is supposed to be mine.  You know what? The root cause was implanted during my childhood when my mom always tried to remind me that I was not good enough. What did I want in my childhood life? What can I do my best to my children not to repeat my pattern?  Words carry weight. It’s harmful to criticize the child with disappointment and comparison to say something like:
  • ​You’re fat as a pig.
  • You never can do properly like your sister.
  • You almost always can’t do what I want you to do.
  • I can’t understand why you always make mistakes.
​Instead, don’t let a single day go by without telling the kids:
​I know you can do this
I believe in you
I trust you
I’m proud of you
You make me happy
I like it when you do such good thing
I’m grateful for you
I love you
You are a good child because…..
You’re terrific
Do you know that you can’t do that in last year and now you can make it!
You do it by yourself! Good job.
I've a wounded inner child inside my heart.  I'm so happy my children are the angels to allow me to get my second childhood...
jealousy and childhood
14 Comments
Forever My Little Moon link
2/22/2021 08:37:51 am

This is so true. Kids learn from what they see. I do my best to not compare myself to others, especially when it comes to appearance.as I don't want her to compare herself t others.

Reply
Samantha Laycock link
2/22/2021 12:41:34 pm

I love this post. Using words with our children that aren't going to hurt them is so important.

Reply
Kimmy
2/23/2021 04:21:16 am

I really loved this post.

Reply
Heather Behrends link
2/23/2021 08:10:21 am

YES! SO true and important for raising healthy, well-adjusted kids. We can all get into these weird, unhealthy mindsets, but we have to model healthy mindsets for our kids. Love this!

Reply
Danielle link
2/23/2021 08:34:11 am

Yes! Children are always listening to the way you speak and reflect that!

Reply
Jazmin Maybell link
2/23/2021 09:06:56 am

This is my kids to a T! They copy everything I do so it's a good idea to be mindful.

Reply
vidya link
2/23/2021 02:45:36 pm

so true!! and i keep repeating positive affirmations to my kids (now teens)

Reply
Marysa link
2/23/2021 06:39:56 pm

It is so important to use words carefully. These are good things to think about.

Reply
Sharon link
2/25/2021 07:48:46 am

This is so important and a great reminder that I have to use my words carefully.

Reply
Courtney link
2/26/2021 07:57:09 am

Such an informative post. Thank you for sharing!

Reply
Catherine Bailey link
2/26/2021 10:34:01 am

Oh gosh I'm so sorry that your inner child is wounded. Thanks for sharing ways that we can speak more encouragingly to our children. Even when we're upset, we dont have to blame them and make them feel bad.

Reply
Stephanie Pick link
2/28/2021 03:31:51 pm

Being more conscious of the words we use, on our kids and ourselves, is a major step towards healing the negative talk. Thanks for this post!

Reply
Nishtha link
3/1/2021 04:09:57 pm

Beautiful reminder! Yes words can make all the difference, so imp to use positive and uplifting words esp for kids!

Reply
Viano
3/2/2021 01:27:12 am

You're right. Constant comparison can cause low self esteem. Making someone feel they aren't good enough can make them suffer envy and jealousy. Nice post.

Reply



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    Catherine

    Digital marketer, writer, editor,  feminine optimistic style, pursuit of happiness, addict to coffee.

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