Mom's Secrets: Beware The Words You Use To Create A Jealous Child

​Ever wonder there must be something that can trigger your hot button instantly.
Think carefully about what’d happened in the past that could stir up your negative emotion intensely. I couldn't control my flame when I knew that..

• ​My co-workers got more friends than me;
• My boss picked the person next to me for promotion;
• My friend got a higher salary than me;
• My hubby paid more attention to another woman than me.

​OMG! It’s a matter of jealousy. I always like to compare myself with someone else. How did other people think about me? Did they respect me and like me? It seems like my self-worth requires other people to define or judge.  The emotion that appears on the surface is angry. The underlying core emotion is fear or insecurity. I fear the other person will take away the thing that is supposed to be mine.  You know what? The root cause was implanted during my childhood when my mom always tried to remind me that I was not good enough. What did I want in my childhood life? What can I do my best to my children not to repeat my pattern?  Words carry weight. It’s harmful to criticize the child with disappointment and comparison to say something like:

• ​You’re fat as a pig.
• You never can do properly like your sister.
• You almost always can’t do what I want you to do.
• I can’t understand why you always make mistakes.

​Instead, don’t let a single day go by without telling the kids:

​I know you can do this
I believe in you
I trust you
I’m proud of you
You make me happy
I like it when you do such good thing
I’m grateful for you
I love you
You are a good child because…..
You’re terrific
Do you know that you can’t do that in last year and now you can make it!
You do it by yourself! Good job.

I've a wounded inner child inside my heart.  I'm so happy my children are the angels to allow me to get my second childhood...