Women Blossom Blog
Women Blossom Blog
Are you settling for less than you deserve? How settled are you? How will you describe yourself?
Unmoved as a rock
A vase rarely moves an inch; or
A bird in a cage; or
A lamb ties a belt around its neck; or
A swallow is flying to a faraway destination occasionally stop over for a rest; or
A fly is flying aimlessly to nowhere.
What if you are an artist to build the rock balancing work.
It seems like impossible and unlikely. You get it. It’s difficult. Not impossible.
Have you ever asked your parents how much they had sacrificed for the family? What were the opportunities that they had given up? What was the cost? Are you willing to make the same sacrifice? Why? What did they say? How about you?
You aren’t the same as your parents were 20 years ago. You have new experiences and lessons learned. And society isn’t the same either. You like to find new ways to balance and blend career and family. You can do it.
1. Essential vs. Useful
Not everything has equal importance. If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will. It takes discipline and knowing your own priorities. Your boss may demand extra long hours; your co-workers may ask you to solve their problems, or your friend may ask you to buy them something. Couldn’t agree more for the hardest thing to say is "no" because you want to be helpful, to be nice and to get approval from peers and boss. However, you need to say no to create more time to focus on your current priorities.
When someone comes to distract your current priority, you've to ask yourself:
Is it important?
Is it important for me?
Is it important now?
Essential and Useful is not the same.
Great performance at work is useful, approval from the boss is useful, but family relationship is essential. The family should come before business, isn’t it?
2. It’s not Zero-Sum Game
When you talk about work-life balance. It is as if you are asking can a woman half pregnant? If you spend more money on housing, you will have to spend less on your car. Many people view their lives in much the same way that every additional expense has to be matched with an equal reduction in spending. If they want career, they have to sacrifice family time. If they want a family life, they have to sacrifice their career. This concept is misleading.
The quantity of hours spent working or thinking about work, or hours spent with our families, does not predict achievement or life satisfaction. Instead, the quality of those hours- how stressful or relaxing they are – is a much more crucial in producing a satisfying family life and career. Your time is a measure of commitment, concern, and efficiency, not just quantity. You manage to do what you are doing when you are doing it.
3. You Always Have a Choice
Feeling guilty about working, feeling guilty about not working and contributing to the family, feeling guilty about not making enough homemade dinners, feeling guilty about enjoying 'me time'? The hard thing is that sometimes we forget we have a choice. We feel like the choice had already been made for us. Things will be what they will be.
If you’re a career mum and the nine-to-five, Monday to Friday grind is not worked for you. You may talk to your boss about flexible schedule; or reduce your hours to a part-time job.
Unless you’re in prison, you don’t have to do anything. You choose to do things. You might ask, “What difference does that make? I have to do the laundry, or I choose to do the laundry. Either way it has to be done.” It’s the difference between taking an action because something of value is at stake for you and taking an action because you are being forced to do so. Doing the laundry is a choice you make because you value being clean. You do the laundry for your family members because you love them. Is anyone forcing you to do the laundry? No. When you see all the options you have, you can begin to appreciate the choices you make.
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