Joy of Marriage. What Do You Expect From Your Husband?

Susan asked her friend John:
Did you know that the first programmer in history was a woman?
 John replied:
No wonder women were the most difficult creatures to understand.

Susan nodded and smiled.
​
John said:
I quite can't understand you.
You knew Peter (husband of Susan) was womanizing, and why do you expect he would change after marriage? He kept dating numerous women and had an affair with your best friend.   You loved him with no bottom line to forgive his betrayal instead. But when he turned to love you deeply and begged you to stay with him, you strictly rejected and left.

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 Susan expected her husband would change for her, but  it did not happen. She had expected she could change for him, but it also did not happen either.

What she expected never happened.

Maybe the reality is never expected to change others. You can’t and will never succeed.  Therefore, you should be honest with yourself;
And allow your husband to be honest with himself.
​
 Always remember you always have the choice.
Unless you’re in prison, you don’t have to do anything. You choose to do things.  Like what we do for the laundry.
Do you like to do the laundry? No. 
Is anyone forcing you to do the laundry? No. 
Doing the laundry is a choice you make because you value being clean.  You do the laundry for your family members because you love them. When you see all the options you have, you can appreciate the choices you make.

You can already guess the point is to make appropriate trade-offs by optimizing your choice.  Honest to yourself.  Take responsibility for the choices you have made. 
And then, you realize that the reality is not as bad as you think
Or as good as you expect.
Accept what clashes, clashes.
What flows, flows.
Never border yourself to urge the other person to do the right thing.
It is ok to be not ok
As long as the (bad) feeling does not last forever
 
Lighten your expectations. Turn your expectations into appreciation.

More tips on resolve the problems  related to communication, money issue and   perspective conflicts.