​One day, Susan was frustrated to complete her work and desperately asked me for help.
Peter: please help me otherwise I will lose my job.
Me: It may be good for you to consider changing your job.
 
Peter is angry to regard me as selfish and cold-heart.
 
People often describe me as an introvert. I love to spend time alone, speak little, and work at my own pace.  Very often, I appear in slow action because taking action is my weakness because I try to rationalize every decision instead of executing it.  Isolation and low-profile manner make me hard to team up with people to do the work.   Too much reliance on self-effort will slow down the working progress to leap forward.
 
Studying the enneagram helped me understand my worldview and motivation.
 
What do I want? I want more and get used to deep thinking and learning.
The drive is greediness by reserving as much as possible.
 
While many people buy luxury stuff based on spontaneous desire, I will take time to think about the justification of the value as if I am a penny pincher.  It is quite a big deal for me as I will consider if I pay for this luxury, the money in my wallet will become less.
 
I regard the world as operated by finite resources in scarcity as if playing a zero-sum game. Consumption means loss. I adopt the scarcity model of pizza. I won't have much left if you take a slice of it.
 
It is not easy for me to get along with my boss. I hate to work on a tight schedule. When my boss criticizes me for not working hard enough, I will focus on improving the system.
 
What is the hard part of confining my happiness? How can I achieve a breakthrough?
 
Infinite of abundance vs Finite of Scarcity
Learn to get over the feeling of finite scarcity of resources due to the scaring of shortage. 
Open my eyes and my guts to the wondrous smorgasbord of life.
Believe that I am prosperous to receive and enjoy the abundance of: 
Health
Relationship
Time
Knowledge
Comfort
Beauty
Wealth
 
Scaring for the shortage is merely a feeling or an opinion. When I feel the abundance, I will no longer keep checking the gain and loss on the balance sheet. 
I would get used to creating more value for realizing my abundance by breaking through my self-limiting beliefs.
 
Like eating a buffet to find an abundance of food available.
No rush to get my share. 
I know I can fill up my plate as much as I want.  I won’t mind the one next to me taking the food I like because there is plenty and the food will re-fill. 
 
How about you?
 
What is your worldview or core beliefs?      
What do you want to focus on others that provoke conflicts?      
What is your drive for acting the way you do?     
How do you act around someone you do not like? Judging/dismissive/indifferent          
What is the core drive of your emotions?
Fear/anger/jealous  
How does your emotion affect the way you treat others? Confrontation/Power over/Pathetic/pushover      
What are your expectations of others?        
What are your expectations of yourself?     
What is the one particular lesson you shall learn to reverse the repeated tendency?     

#1. Perfectionist
#2. Giver
​#3.    Performer

​The answer is, to be honest with yourself. It sounds simple but not easy.
Someone asked you to change your cooking menu, and you accepted.
Your friend begged you to drive her to the supermarket even if you were busy, and you did so.
Someone asked you to follow his way, and you agreed.
 
You hated to say yes, but you settled because of
Convenience;
Stop the conflicts or disputes;
Avoid the troubles;
Fear of authority;
Fear of someone unhappy.
 
When you decide to settle, you regard yourself as a victim, as if you are in prison with no choice. You feel upset because you are not proud of yourself for what you have done.
Unless you’re in prison, you don’t have to do anything. You choose to do things.  Let's use what we do for our laundry as an example:
Do you like to do the laundry? No. 
Is anyone forcing you to do the laundry? No. 
Doing the laundry is a choice you make because you value being clean.  You do the laundry for your family members because you love them. When you see all the options you have, you can appreciate the choices you make.
You can already guess the point is to make appropriate trade-offs by optimizing your choice.  Honest to yourself.  Take responsibility for your choice, and you will feel good about yourself.

​What did I look like when I was twenty years old?
I was a young, beautiful lady but vulnerable to emotions affecting inter-relationships with others and hindering me from moving forward on my career path or getting along with others.
I was not okay when someone took advantage of me, hurt me, or bullied me.
Fighting and wrestling to react and the negative energy lasted long inside me. It was always brutal, final, and unproductive.

​I could hardly feel the happiness deep down in my heart.

​I was jealous of others because I liked to compare myself with someone else:
when my sister caught more attention than me;
when my boss treated my colleagues better than me;
when my friend appeared more beautiful than me;
when my friends lived in a bigger house than me.
 
My question:
Why can you always get something better than me?
The wrong answer: 
I’m not good enough.
 
I would advise my 20-year-old self:
You are jealous because you always like to compare yourself with someone else. 
You are a combination of strengths and limitations, like everybody else.
You don’t need to do ground-breaking things to live a happy life.
You don’t need to be the person to land on the moon.
You don’t need to be the person to do anything.
The truth is no one can win over everyone all the time. Just like a running horse, some of the time it can run very fast, some other times it would run slower.
All in all, there is no comparison between the sun and the moon.
They shine when it’s their time.
 
Why if the alternate answer is:
I am grateful and accept who I am and who I am not.
I love myself and am satisfied with myself.

​I felt angry when my friends betrayed me,
my lover abandoned me,
someone hurt me out of selfishness,
someone rejected me,
I got fired without good reason.
 
My question:
How could I fail?
The wrong answer:
I won’t.
 
I would advise my 20-year-old self:
You forced your desires on what happened around you as if the world should operate according to your roadmap. When something did happen out of your expectation, you felt anger, sorrow, and self-blame.
 
However, all lives would come to an end;
All profitable fast-growing stocks would drop their price;
All great machines would fail in some way.
 
Rejecting to accept failure only made the failure more painful.
You could not change anything for whatever happened yesterday.
You might disagree with assumptions that led to the feelings of others that ultimately hurt you.
You felt this way was not the same as others who experienced what you experienced would feel the same way.
 
Why if the alternate answer is:
I am where I should be
I learned to understand that all that happens is right.
Let it be and let it go. 
Keep calm with serenity. 
Inner peace is more important than justification.

​I used to play the zero-sum game as if adopting a scarcity model for pizza. If I shared it with you, I would have less.  My self-limiting beliefs made me fear someone would take away what should belong to me.
 
My question:
How much is remaining for me??
The wrong answer:
Share means lost.
 
What if the alternate answer is:
I deserve abundance and have plenty.
I am grateful for what I own now and what I may get tomorrow.

​I used to enjoy gossiping, judging, complaining, and condemning others. It was easy to criticize them.
 
What is the right thing to do?
Wrong answer: I know all the answers.
Advice:  I can be all wrong
 
The stupid fools are arrogant to presume they know all the answers.
They are preoccupied with a spirit of criticism to focus on weakness, wanting to be always right thus they have been less wrong.
 
An intelligent person is humble and wants to learn from everyone, embracing the spirit of approval to focus on strengths. Empower others to feel good. Stay hungry, stay foolish. They can encounter opposing opinions and still function.

​In your opinion, which is the hardest thing to do?
Thales of Miletus, a Greek philosopher, said, “The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.”  Well, yes,   it is so true that fish are the last to discover water.
 
Who am I?
​
Most individuals define their worth based on external labels assigned to their position or role, fully immersing themselves in it.  Have you ever got the feeling resonate with the song “I’ve Been to Paradise, I’ve Never Been to Me”?

​Do you know yourself?
Avoid jumping into a statement, ask questions instead. 
When a question posed, it acts as a catalyst for our brain to trigger a mental reflex with new insights for answers.

1. What is my talent?
2. What is my motivation?
3. What do I own?
4. What am I good at?
5. What makes me enjoy or satisfy?
6. What ten things will I   advise my 20-year-old self?
7. What does a perfect day all about?
8. What are the three things that matter most to me?
9. What is my worldview?
10. What do I want to focus on others that provoke conflicts?
11. What is my drive for acting the way I do?
12. What is the one thing I shall learn to reverse the repeated setback?
13. What makes me excited like hear my heart sing?
14. What makes me feel fulfillment?
15. What can trigger my emotions? 

 
Always remember, I am not a static entity.
 
I am a dynamic, infinite creative process.
The process aims to express beauty by exuding confidence, strength, resilience, abundance, and love.  All adventures, experiences, and challenges that are creating and shaping me.
Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing.
It is up to you to choose.
 
Be yourself.  Love yourself