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 Ever wonder what game are you playing:
Relationship Series: Fabulous Sexy SweetheartShe is a fabulous sexy sweetheart. She pursuit of love and doesn’t want to get married. What game is she playing? The games she is playing are:
Impress Me Or Get Out Of My SightShe won’t appreciate what she has but keep chasing after what she’s missing. There would be a time within the different development stages (puberty/sexual maturation stage) of a woman that someone would crush on you. At that time, you can show how brutal or capricious temper you are. One of the frustrating things is that there would be an expiry date! I Know EverythingShe can’t trust a man with her heart and soul. Trust is like a sword. I give it to you whether you will use it to hurt me or protect me. She tends to believe he will use it to hurt her. Her dad had an affair with a woman, and the parents were divorced when she was five years old. She implanted the belief carried from her childhood that men are irresponsible, unreliable, and like cheating. Is it true? Or does she need it to be true? If you decide that your belief is actually true, you owe it to yourselves to be clear about what would have happened for you to realize that it’s not. Stay tuned for the upcoming post: Relationship: Bossy Career Woman
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While many people like to order the takeaway cup in the Starbuck, or drink in a rush and go, I’m attracted to the romance of the coffee experience by sitting inside a comfortable coffee shop, to enjoy my favorite cup of coffee, sipping slowly, to enjoy each mouthful well. The soft light and the calm music make me feel relax. The beautiful lyric from the old song swirling around with the coffee aromas brings up a variety of good feelings. When my friends spend time on social media, networking, or searching for entertainment, I like to spend time on coffee.  Black coffee or Latte? Let’s come together over coffee for a time of relaxation. People try to convince the world that water is boring, coffee is great. It works. What is good coffee? Good coffee is like a gorgeous woman (hot and has good taste 😊). Bad coffee is bitter, sour, burnt, and astringent. Good coffee is sweet, fruity, chocolaty, smooth, and light-bodied. Different people get different taste profiles over the combination of aromas, sweetness, floral, fruits, and nutty cocoa. Whenever I feel tired, I’ll get an expresso. This tiny cup is strong enough to get me fueled all day long. We should avoid caffeine as it would dry out our skin, shouldn’t we? Well, yes, but coffee lovers don’t like decaffeinated. If you drink decaffeinated coffee, you are better to drink chocolate. If you ask for a “latte” in Italy, you’ll most probably get a cup of cold milk. You should order “latte macchiato” which consists of hot milk add to the coffee. It sounds like coffee and milk are not necessarily friends to bind together. As a matter of personal taste, black coffee is my taste. But I like latte art. It’s cute. The cup of coffee looks so lovely by adding a little cat that is made by the milk foam, to see it floating and drowning in the liquid. I have learned to make the DIY Flat white with latte art. Make a latte at home without an espresso machine is not difficult. Pour fresh milk into a large bowl, stirring the milk with a whisk until it becomes foam. Add the foam into the espresso. That’s it. Evil Partners: Sugar and Desserts? Coffee is supposed to boost up energy. Why you feel more tired after drinking coffee? It’s because you add high sugar, partner with sweetie desserts. When the brain needs energy, it wants sugar that makes the blood sugar inflated. The insulin suppresses the high blood sugar, blood sugar deflated, hormone comes out to balance, and makes the body further stress and fermented. As a result, you will feel anxiety, stress, and fatigue. But I like partnering dessert with coffee, anyway. A perfect match for coffee is partnering it with cookies, cheesecake, or blueberry cake. The taste of Kona coffee is strong when partnering with chocolate. On the other hand, the taste of Blue Mountain coffee is light so that when partnering with cake or sweet snack will cover the coffee taste. Italian coffee is great to drink after the full meal…All in all, sweetie desserts have high sugar that needs to avoid consuming too much. Explore Coffee Culture When I was traveling to other countries, I would like to experience their coffee culture. Have you ever captivated by the romance of the Italian coffee experience? I was attracted to try Italian coffee in Antico Caffe Greco. It was one of the best-known and oldest bar (opened in 1760) in Rome. Historical figures of artists, writers, and musicians including Stendhal, Goethe, Bertel Thorvaldsen, Mariano and so on have had coffee there. The fame of the café has attracted an influx of tourists that makes it always a bit too crowded. The little cafés around Australia are impressive. They are brewing their coffee, fresh and local. Your favorite barista knows how to make your coffee just as you like it. When you're sitting down at a little café in Australia, order a cup of coffee, make your judgment for the taste difference. All in all, what else of your coffee experience that can share with me? You might also like to explore more about Simply lifestyle:   When I was a child, I always felt jealous of everything:
During my childhood, my mom always liked to compare me with others as if she was trying to tell me I was not good enough. I felt angry and affected my self-esteem. I was pondering why did the parent like to compare her kid with others? What did I want in my childhood life? What can I do my best to help my children to strengthen their self-esteem? When we compare ourselves to those who have more, we feel bad. When we compare ourselves to those who have less, we feel grateful. Comparing ourselves with the other would trigger our negative emotions of envy and jealousy upon others, so do the kids compare among themselves. What causes jealousy in a child? It might because the parent always likes to compare him or her with someone else. My Child Has To Be Remarkable?A parent uses to think that her kid should be special, has to be extraordinary, needs to be remarkable. They would think their kid should be better than yours. They want to compare how well their kid's scores in school, in the performance in whatever contests, and all sorts of context in all different areas. Jenny (my friend) makes use of all opportunities to tell everyone that her kid is born to be a winner: Jenny: Amy (her kid) is so smart. She started to talk early, learned faster than her classmates, and achieved the highest grade among the peers… Me: Well, yes, Amy is smart. I have no doubt about this. Jenny: You know what? Your girl is not bad. You should help her to catch up with the others, such as scheduling more learning classes before it’s too late... Very often, you might meet other parents who tried to tell you what you should do and what you shouldn’t do as if they define your to-do-list. My kids don’t need to do groundbreaking things to live a meaningful life. They don’t need to be the person to land on the moon. Actually, they don’t need to be the person to do anything. By the end of the day, we are all bunch of ants trying to chase the same thing. Don’t take yourself so seriously to hunch on one element of expecting our kids to do something great and remarkable. Lighten up! Help the kids to enjoy most moments of the day, something like running and playing, eating the ice-cream slowly.... It's Not A RaceIf your neighbor has a luxury car or get broke has anything to do with you? And actually, we never know anyone else’s situation. When you see your friend’s family who always seems to be traveling around the world, they could be up to their eyeballs in credit card debt. Our schooling system tries to tell our kids that we live in a world of a zero-sum game: all people are in a race, the point is to win. You have to win over the ones next to you and beat down everyone else to move up. If you are not up, then you will be out. The kid would get used to evaluating people and objects by compare and contrast, not by their substances. The truth is no one can win everyone all the time. Just like a running horse, some of the time it can run very fast, some other time it would run slower. If your kid is not doing well in school, lighten up! Some people do very well in school and you think they will be superstars…they aren’t. You see some people who are written off but achieve tremendous things. The child can thrive in the endeavor for the self-improvement and personal advancement. We, as parents, help them on the journey to take the responsibilities in which they excel and ask for help when they are struggling. Deal With Strengths and Weakness When the kid grows older, the parent tends to focus on the kid’s weakness rather than their strengths. Why not appreciate the beauty of the kid the same as the time when he or she was born? Even though I’m an adult now, whenever my mom says the negative comments on me in a way that makes it sound like she disappoints in me still make me burn inside. It cuts my feeling deeply. The parents play a critical role in cultivating a deep sense of self-esteem for their children. The child can accept negative comments from those who are not close to him or her because he or she can believe they reflect a lack of knowledge about him or her. How about the weakness? Everyone has weak areas that make us human. They are gifts from God to keep us humble. Help the children to appreciate their strengths and accept the weakness as well. All in all, there is no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time. You Might Also Like:
Use Enneagram to Understand the Drives of Your Child that You May Not Know (Seven to Nine)10/7/2020  An enneagram is a powerful tool that helps us to understand the personalities and drives of behaviors. It can be regarded as one of the perspectives to understand our child better and become a more effective parent. We'd covered One to Three. And Four to Six in the previous post. Let's continue to check Seven to Nine. 7. The EpicurePlaying and making fun is their strength. They are enthusiasts for entertainment, want to have fun, to keep themselves excited and occupied. They use to come up with many creative fun ideas to make people laugh. You will never be bored with them around. Key Motivation The drive is having fun. Get fun is a way to avoid and discharge pain. They want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences. Parenting Tips
8. The ProtectorTom always appears resistant, want to dominate, and to stay in control of his situation. He is a challenger to resist unfair situations or persons. His mom describes him as a volcano ready to erupt anytime by yelling, screaming, or non-stop arguments. In their world, they want to prove their strength and power, resist to look weak. Key Motivation Want to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be self-reliant, to dominate and control the environment. Parenting Tips
9. The MediatorRita is a nice person or a peacemaker, always like day-dreaming, and a lack of concentration. She wants to create harmony in her environment in which no one is disturbed. It is no surprise she can get along almost with everyone. Some people might describe her as a sponge that can absorb any differences. It seems like everything doesn’t matter to her as long as there are no conflicts. Key Motivation The drive is laziness. Avoiding conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb the harmony. Parenting Tips
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 Have you ever asked your parents how much they had sacrificed for the family? What were the opportunities that they had given up? What was the cost? Are you willing to make the same sacrifice? Why? What did they say? How about you? We aren’t the same as our parents were 30 years ago. And society isn’t the same, either. We like to find new ways to balance and blend career and family. We are women, good at multitasking, after all. You might hear some people tell you multitasking is shifting tasks that drive us to nowhere. Yes and no. Women are capable of multitasking for various commitments and can work more organized under pressure such as cooking a meal while looking after young children and suddenly having to answer the phone. Or jump between incoming emails, phone calls, and assignments, while running in and out of meetings. Very often, men can’t understand why a woman can handle so many things simultaneously. Are you settling for less than you deserve? How settled are you? How will you describe yourself?
Could you have been a better mom and still built such a successful career? It might be difficult or unlikely, and not impossible.
Use Enneagram to Understand the Motivation Drives of Your Child that You May Not Know (Four to Six)9/29/2020  An enneagram is a powerful tool that helps us to understand the personalities and drives of behaviors. It can be regarded as one of the perspectives to understand our child better and become a more effective parent. We'd covered One to Three. Let's continue to check Four to Six. 4. The Tragic of RomanceThe drive is jealousy. Jenny is moody and affectionate. What’s happening around her can trigger different stories to her feelings. One day, she saw a white paper falling to the ground, she burst into tears. She told me this reminded her that her white cat had passed away. Very often, you can’t quite understand why she is hysterical to feel upset or feel happy suddenly. Key motivation: Attach to emotional needs before attending to anything else. Want to maintain certain moods to create and pursuit of beauty surrounding themselves. They used to express their individuality and withdraw to protect their self-image. Parenting Tips
5. The ObserverDavid is an introvert who dislike communicating with others. He has very few friends, perform not so good in school. When the first time I met him, he was only ten years old but concentrated on reading a book about the causes of earthquakes. He talked more to me at that time by asking me questions about the science of earthquakes. I might disappoint him as I knew very little about earthquakes. When I saw him on another day, he talked much less rarely speaking a word. They are the investigator interested in engaging energy on something worth their time and effort. When David regarded the communication with me is not fruitful to deepen his knowledge, he closed the little communication door with me to save his energy. Key Motivation: The drive is greedy. They view the world is a scarcity of resources in which everyone is competing for a share. Cost-effectiveness is important, want to possess the knowledge, to understand the environment, to have everything figured out as a way of defending the self from limited environmental resources threats. Parenting Tips
6. The Loyal SkepticJohn seems like being slow in everything. When the parent told the two children (John and his brother) to go out for dinner, John’s brother would move fast to dress up and ready to leave within 5 minutes. Whereas, John would move slowly, and came to ask his mom questions such as:
Key Motivation: The drive is fear. Want to have security, to feel supported by others with reassurance. They tend to test the attitudes of others toward them, to fight against anxiety and insecurity. Parenting Tips:
A woman can experience stress at her different life stages. There is no objective way to tell you if you had a good life, a good day, or a good hour. It’s not what happens to you but how you think about what happened. The narratives of asking yourself the right questions help you to shift your perspectives from the mist of troubles to feeling good about yourself. Michael Hyatt wrote the topic about the right questions to change our life. This post has borrowed the context from these right questions with my insights.  Q1. What does this make possible?A career mom asks herself what does this make possible taking care of the baby and keeping the corporate job? A single mom asks herself what does this possible raising the kids without financial support from anyone. The right question helps you to re-orient your perspectives from the mist of trouble to the new possibilities. You get the inner resources that can figure out everything for yourself. “Just because it's dark it doesn't mean we're underground. It often means that no one has bothered to turn on any lights.” ~ Seth Godin What does this make possible building my own business? What does this make possible writing a book? What does this make possible buying my dream house? And so on... Q2. What if it’s not the end but a new beginning? What if you have a baby is not ruin your corporate career but start the next chapter you want the most? What if the end of the toxic relationship is the beginning of your new story with a happy ending? What if it’s a new beginning after I get fired? Reflection of the past is only good for one thing: learning. You can ask yourself about what if it’s not the end but a new beginning that helps you to drag out from the notion that you are stuck. You can see something you missed from a perspective that it’s the new beginning. Q3. What if the answer is over the next hill? When you’re in the middle of financial hardship; or When you’re exhausted with the resistant child; or When you have a terrible time with your hubby. When bad things happen, we felt like a load of bricks had dropped on us. We may not see the solution now. We ask ourselves what if the answer is over the next hill?. This question helps us to lengthen our horizons. If you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t be able to function. Don’t write yourself off. You may not see the solution now. Over time, you tend to work things out. Events are temporary. Your feeling of distress will pass. Your life will take you in new directions. Q4. What if I need this to prepare me for the next chapter? We go through changes in the stages of our life. We change jobs, shift careers, and change the role of a girl to become a mom. We feel anxious and frustrated: Why I’m the one to get fire? Why I’m so clumsy to handle the relationship? Why does my child get autism? Change is painful. We could trace our current position to every decision we have ever made. But it won't drive us anywhere. What you need to do is think about how you can get from where you are to where you want to be. Instead of asking why, why not change the question to what’s next. Whatever happened to me is preparing me for the next chapter. Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, she turned into a butterfly. (proverb) Q5. What if God know exactly what I need? The world is full of mysteries with unanswered questions. God teaches us that much of what we see is so complicated that we cannot understand why and how it occurred. When we are suffering from sorrow, anguish, and pain, religion gives us hope and peace of mind. We never know what is the plan from God arranges for us, but we do know God has always been there for us. Q6. What if God’s speaking to me in these troubles and blessing me? When you are frustrated under a difficult circumstance, we ask ourselves what if God’s speaking to me in these troubles and blessing me from the adversity. God has the plan for the purpose and meaning of our life. I love this story: God planted the fern and the bamboo seeds. The fern quickly grew from the
earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. After 5 years the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. God tell the bamboo: “You had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made you strong and gave you what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.” “Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.” “Don't compare yourself to others.” He said. “The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.” We all as parents know that children, even babies, have distinct personalities:
How can we be sure that our nurturing is well suited to our child? An enneagram is a powerful tool that helps us to understand the personalities and drives of our children's behaviors. But please noted to beware never try to pick a certain kind of personality trait or behavior to fit in a specific category as labeling. Mostly, the key driver is not obvious to identify. It took me a long journey to identify the key driver for myself. Humans are complicated creatures. The same behavior may derive from the different underlying drives. How to identify the underlying motivation drive is extremely difficult. Therefore, you can regard it as one of the resources references to widen your perspective angle to understand your child better and become a more effective parent.  Remarks: Enneagram is more complicated than it appears on the surface. If you're interested in this subject, suggest finding the expert for help.  1. The PerfectionistPeter would do everything his parent tells him to do. If you make the rule of requiring him to finish his homework before watching TV, then he would follow your rule strictly. These children view the world should operate with an ideal framework of rules that people should follow. If the other people are not working on that same standards would trigger their anger to judge and criticize. The other side of the coin is that they might appear stubborn and lack of creative thinking. Key motivation:Their drive is anger. Want to be right, to reform and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone. Parenting Tips:
2. The GiverSusan is adorable as she knows quite well to do things that make other people feel warm and cozy. She had been so sweet to write a few nice words on the cupcake wrapper or reserved the last big apple for mommy to eat. These children would express their feeling by giving their love, helping others, and desire for others to respond to them. Key Motivation:Their drive is love. They want other people to like them and love them. Always advocating for love and believe that they know better than anyone else how to love you. Parenting Tips:
3. The PerformerPeter is hardworking who seems like always busy to do something. He performs very well in school, get straight A in many subjects. While the other children are playing hide and seek games, he gets more interest in playing certain types of games that can redeem gifts or can reward with value. In the world of these children, everything is a matter of completing a task. They aspire to find something to do on the condition that the work should have meaning. Maturity is faster than other same-age babies as you might expect they can stand in 6 months period. Winning in a competition is vital to them as it meant achievement. They want to get attention and to impress others. Key Motivation:Their drive is completing the task. Perform a role to complete tasks, to distinguish themselves from others, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others. Parenting Tips:
If you're interested in continue exploring personality traits, key drivers, and parenting tips from Four to Nine, please stay tuned for the updated post next week.
 While people use to describe men are rocks, women are like to be water. Men and women are beautifully different but made for each other. Just as the beauty where water and rocks come together. And yet, I’m not sure from when that women regard “tough’ is a praising word to tell we can do much work as any man. The name of the game is “I don’t need you” so that:
Women appear to be tough in career, personality, and relationships. We can do everything like men. Ever wonder woman attractiveness is not about her toughness. It's about her tenderness instead. Men yearn for women to love them tender from our feminine nature. They might recall the kind of soft and tenderness feeling from the memories with their moms and sisters time and again. My friend told me his wife was so tough that he doubted whether he had married a man, not a woman. Have you heard about the law of attraction? You attract the same thing to what you deliver. For instance, anger would attract anger. Love attracts love. How about toughness? Tough people attract the tough thing for them to tackle! Be nice to yourself. You don’t need to be tough all the time. What is your family money story? What is your financial habit? It’s not funny if you’re always struggling with money. How much money can I earn? How big is my bank account? Money is the cause of my anxiety. Why? If you’re broke, you lost your house, lose your family, lost your self-respect, and lost everything. You don’t want to get broke. Why I always feel like I’m on the verge of bankruptcy? What can I do differently about money?  1. Earn the MoneyWhen I worked in a corporate, I was underpaid. After I left my corporate life, I run my business without earning a decent profit. My friend told me the price of my product is too low. One day, my friend asked me what did I think about money? Or what is my concept about money? The wordings that pop-up in my mind are:
I can create the value to earn a lot of money. I deserve to own a lot of money. I promise XXXXX 2. Save the MoneyNo doubt about saving is a good financial habit. You won’t be panic if you keep a certain amount of money as a safety net to secure the cash flow in case of emergency or unexpected job loss. Are you earning money and saving it, and that’s it? If so, it seems like money is to become your goal. We are easy to confuse our desire for the feeling of fullness with the feeling of enough. The only satisfying state is full. Full doesn’t last, and it’s always desirable. Enough doesn’t feel like full that urge some people to keep chasing money to save it up for the feeling of fullness. Saving money is good, enough is okay. Money is energy. Let it flows and moving. 3. Spend the MoneyWhenever I tried to de-clutter my house, I was surprised why I had bought so many useless things I didn't need. Is it because online shopping has never been easier from the one-click shopping universe? Or maybe merely it is an easy way to release negative emotions. The advertisers, marketers, and the media make us believe that buying the expensive products is a way to uplift our status and taste. Social media is further amplified the wonderful life from our peers make us feel like we are in the state of not enough. How to avoid overspending?
4. Grow the MoneyNo doubt we are pleasure seekers. We get hooked on the pleasure comes from caffeine, tobacco, entertainment or premium stuff. Pleasure is short-term, addictive and selfish. It works on dopamine. When the debt is easier than ever to go into, why even consider sacrificing the pleasure for the long-haul benefits? Does the long haul will take care itself? It doesn’t. We have to define our context to prioritize our spending that can work for the money growth. Do you spend the money on the stuff that can grow your assets or pay for the liability? An asset is something you can be owned to produce value matter to you in the long run. For instances, buy a house is building your asset, pay the monthly rental is a liability. Spend the money on studying a training course for mastering a useful skill is building your asset. Buy expensive Hermes bag to believe that someone is watching you is a liability. Made better money decision on the truly important things. 5. Share the MoneyLife meant to us is not about money. Money is not the goal, and it is a tool to reach our goal. The money will take care of itself as it is a side effect of our effort to reach our goal. At this point, please don’t get me wrong to regard sharing money as merely donations. Money is energy, and let it flow in the direction of creating value that could benefit to yourself and others.
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CatherineDigital marketer, writer, editor, feminine optimistic style, pursuit of happiness, addict to coffee. CategoriesArchives
May 2023
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