​What should I do when my child keeps lying, resists my requests, or has emotional outbursts? When bullying or exclusion comes into play, it feels even harder. I’m exhausted from the daily homework battles and constant struggles at home. Am I being too strict—or too permissive? It seems like my parenting approach just isn’t working.  At this point, 99% of parents are looking at things the wrong way.
 
It is not about the parenting tricks or advice. Shift the perspective to self-care physically and emotionally. A mother’s spirit shapes the family, producing the basic mood of the home, whether it is a place of peaceful harmony or a messy chaos.
 
However, motherhood often feels like an endless loop—days blurred by sleepless nights, routines, and the constant rhythm of chores. Here are 10 simple ways to ease stress and instantly lift your mood—ready to dive in?

When I was lying in the bathtub— even the cat envies me!

Don’t you think that every woman in a bathtub really looks beautiful?  After all, bathing is almost synonymous with beauty; with soft-light candles and a cold or hot drink to set the scene, the feeling becomes even richer. Sometimes, I will bring my reading material into the bath—every time I lie back in the tub, it’s a grand celebration of self-indulgence.

With the door firmly shut, it sends the message: “In the midst of the ritual, please do not disturb.” My family would do well not to step over the line.

Especially for us as mothers, the time spent soaking in the bath—time in the bathroom—is our only truly enjoyable stretch of time alone. During this time, I don’t have to raise my voice to scold the children, don’t have to cover my ears and endure their crying, and don’t have to submit to an endless barrage of questioning.
​
What’s more, the bathroom is like a giant safe I can walk into. Masks, oils, massages, soothing treatments—all performed in peace, safely out of men’s sight.

2.  Move with Ease
Skip the boot‑camp intensity — a long, leisurely walk is enough. It’s your chance to wander without worries, soaking in positivity with every step.

3. Barefoot Bliss
Let sand or grass kiss your feet, and welcome the waves as they wash away tension. It’s nature’s way of grounding your spirit.

4. Nourish with Vitamins
Choose foods rich in vitamins A, B, and C — vibrant fuel for a body that glows and a mind that thrives.

5. Aromatherapy Elevation
Surround yourself with scents that uplift — rose for romance, orange for energy. A single breath can reset your mood.
​
6. Friendship as Presence
Invite a friend to simply be there. No advice, no counseling — just the quiet comfort of companionship.

7. Sip Sunshine
A glass of orange juice is more than refreshment; it’s liquid vitality, brightening your day from the inside out.

8. Bask in Light
Step into the sun and let its warmth recharge you. A dose of daylight is nature’s most effortless therapy.

9. Share the Load
Divide chores with your partner — teamwork turns routine into connection, and lightens both your hearts.

10. Laugh Freely
Permit yourself to be silly. Giggles and play are not indulgences — they’re essential ingredients for joy.

You know, if someone asked me, “When do parents really make the biggest difference?” I’d say it’s those very first years—starting even before birth and running up to about age seven.
That’s when little brains are growing like wildflowers, and bonds are being planted that shape how safe and connected kids feel. The everyday things—snuggling, keeping routines, staying calm when life gets messy—those are like superpowers for helping kids learn to manage emotions, pick up language, and build self‑control.

Of course, genes and later experiences play their part too. But the environment in those is like laying down the foundation stones. For so many long‑term outcomes, that’s when parents’ influence shines the brightest.
​
In these formative years, parents’ influence is especially powerful—shaping whether a child grows up carrying wounds that take a lifetime to heal, or nurturing a spirit that carries joy and resilience throughout life.

​When our little ones are before 7 years old, three things really call for our attention:

​Kids at this age soak things up at lightning speed. If a skill matches their natural spark or talent, they can learn it almost effortlessly. It’s like watching a light switch on inside them.

Most people are blessed with more than one talent. The question is: how do we recognize and nurture them in our children? A child’s instinct often speaks as if he already knows what he wants to do, how to do it, and that he can do it better than anyone else—just as the fish is the last to realize the water around it.
​
What would your child love to do simply for the joy of doing it—even for just fifteen minutes? Whether he’s sketching at his desk or inventing strange new games, his true happiness lies at the heart of what he loves. 

​The educators often say there are seven skills:

​Our parenting job is to notice the sparks—those little flashes of talent—and fan them with playful games and activities. It’s about creating chances for discovery, helping those sparks grow into skills.
 
But always remember:
The mountain has its height
The sea has its depth
The wind has its freedom
The cloud has its tenderness
 
How can one compare the mountain to the sea, or the wind to the cloud? Each holds its own beauty, just as your child embraces his unique gifts. Our role is to help our children unlock the window of talents that will shape their path toward happiness and success. 

​Toddlers love to copy us. The way we carry ourselves—whether we’re laid‑back or controlling, joyful or stressed, rational or emotional—becomes the colors they paint their own world with. We’re their background music, shaping the tone of their days.  Day after day of interactions with the child at home has the biggest impact on who our child will become. We are the mirror to our children. 
 
Parenting often feels like walking a tightrope. One moment, I’m facing a child who lies, refuses to cooperate, or erupts in emotional outbursts. Next, I’m worried about bullying or the pain of being left out. Each day seems to bring another exhausting battle over homework and household routines. I find myself questioning: am I too strict, or too permissive? Somewhere along the way, my parenting method feels like it has stopped working.
 
At this point, 99% of parents are looking at things the wrong way.
It is not about the parenting tricks or advice. Shift the perspective to self-care physically and emotionally.   Children love to see mommy happy.  No doubt about the idea that “Happy wife, happy life.” 

​This is where their sense of self quietly takes root. Psychologists remind us that the way we nurture them can shape whether they grow into a “wounded child” or a “wonder child.” The values and self‑image they absorb now become part of their inner compass.
​
Nurturing them means minding our words, showing them how to solve problems, and modeling kindness—through respect, gratitude, and empathy. These everyday choices quietly shape how they see themselves and the world.

​The child's journey before age 7 is an important stage.  It’s a stage where our role isn’t about perfection, but about presence—being the steady hands that guide, the joyful hearts they mirror, and the gentle voices that shape their beliefs.

When motherhood feels like endless homework battles and household struggles, the real release isn’t in fixing the child’s problem — it’s in easing your own pressure first.  Most parents misread this moment: 99% are looking at it the wrong way. The shift begins when you tackle your emotional load before the child’s challenge even arises.  Most children are attached to their mommy’s emotions. They love to see mommy happy.  Make it easy for your children to deal with you.  Don't be angry or disruptive merely because you can. We are mirrors to our children.  Well, yes, said is always easier than done.    You’re so stressed about something like riding a plane and going through turbulence from time to time. How to release the stress effectively?

Life as a mother can feel overwhelming—days packed with diapers, feedings, housekeeping, endless toy clean‑ups, managing tantrums, and even homeschooling. With so much on your plate, it’s hard to find the time or energy for yourself. Carving out even a few hours to read a book or indulge in a spa day often feels impossible. 

When you feel life gets blurry, adjust your focus by shifting the perspective.
 
What sets apart those who push themselves all day from those who do the bare minimum? What distinguishes people who enroll in night classes from those who never imagine returning to school? At the heart of it, hard work is driven by belief—a conviction that the effort will pay off, that the long‑term reward outweighs the fleeting comfort of laziness.
And when it comes to parenting,
Parenting, in many ways, mirrors this truth. Our child becomes the most meaningful career we will ever pursue. Each day spent guiding, teaching, and nurturing leaves an imprint far deeper than any achievement. The endless interactions at home, whether joyful or challenging, are the building blocks of who our child will become.

​There’s no doubt that well‑intentioned parents, eager to protect their children, place great faith in what they believe is careful planning.  The earth is so dangerous, and we bring our children into this life. I love the lyrics of this song:
 
"When I was a little girl, I asked my mother, ' What can I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? .......whatever will be, will be....the future is not ours to see...what will be, will be......"
 
Well, yes, A child’s future isn’t something parents can shape by stamping out a set of stereotypes or trying to replicate someone else’s success story. Too often, children chase achievements simply to win approval, rather than to discover what truly fulfills them.
We can’t treat people like products rolling off an assembly line. Each child carries unique qualities, character, and talents that deserve to be nurtured, not molded into a rigid standard. Allow them the freedom to explore their strengths and passions.
You may be surprised—and deeply moved—by what they can accomplish when given the space to grow into themselves.

Parents often feel frustrated by the gap between what they hope their children will do and what actually happens. No matter how hard you try, negative behaviors can persist—whether it’s the endless battle over picking up toys scattered across the room or the loud protests of toddlers pleading, crying, or screaming for something they want.

In these moments, many parents turn to rewards and punishments to encourage compliance. Yet no single approach works for every child. When one strategy falls short, the key is to pivot—experiment with a different direction, a new method, or a fresh perspective. Flexibility, not rigidity, is what helps parents move forward.
​
If a child consistently resists following rules, consider shifting the approach to give them more ownership. For example, let them take charge of planning a family vacation—choosing the destination, researching flights and accommodations, building the itinerary, and even estimating the budget. This not only empowers them to take initiative but also teaches them responsibility, making the experience more meaningful for the whole family.

Let me give you an example.  When Isabel and Michael prepared for parenthood, Isabel left her nursing job to stay home. But with higher pay and stronger benefits than Michael, she soon questioned the choice. Michael may not be comfortable with not earning an income and being dependent on his wife's salary, but the math was clear.  Isabel’s higher salary made staying in her career the practical choice.
 
How much does it really cost to raise a child? From housing and education to toys and baby care products. Raising a child is costly.  The difference lies in how wisely you allocate resources; efficient planning can make the journey far more manageable.

​Do you feel frustrated, reckless, and anxious when dealing with setbacks? If so, you may consider finding someone to talk to, reading a book, or enjoying a cup of black coffee. The reality is that failure is an inevitable part of life's journey. However, the good news is that success and failure are both on the same path. 

It's not always necessary to find a solution to every problem right away. Why not step back a little, clear your mind, and enjoy the world around you? Take a moment to appreciate the gentle breeze, beautiful sunshine, and delicious food at an outdoor seating area. There are always good things around us if we take the time to notice them.

​Snoopy is my favorite character from the Peanuts comic stories. Snoopy is not an ordinary dog. It was an abstract and clever Beagle who didn't think suppertime was the only important thing in life. Snoopy loved lying and sitting on the roof instead of inside the doghouse. It once told Woodstock, its best friend, "If you want to be king, stand up on the roof and shout to the world: I am the king!" However, how can Snoopy accomplish sitting on the rooftop? It's not an easy task, especially if you live in Europe. Most of the houses in Europe are designed with steep-shaped rooftops to withstand heavy snow in winter. Nonetheless, Ainė Bunikytė got a creative idea for installing a tea table set with chairs outside on the rooftop within the limitations and boundaries. It is always true that if you want to do something, you can do it, and you can do it well. You will feel great to enjoy tea-time refreshments at the rooftop outdoor seating like that.

Thailand is an ideal destination for fruit eaters.
I love trying the different fresh fruit and juice options in outdoor seating areas, especially their natural coconut water is sweeter and better than the ones you can taste in Vietnam or Tahiti.
​
Eating fruits that are in season is a wise choice as they have better taste and offer higher nutrient value. For instance, it would not be ideal to eat watermelon during winter as it can make you feel cold and uncomfortable. However, during summer, it helps you stay hydrated and provides relief from the heat. Identifying which fruits are in season is quite easy. You can look for fruits that are widely available in food stores and offer better deals. Moreover, I prefer to consume fruits that carry positive energy (fruits are grown by happy farmers, pleasant workers, on organic farmland, or by fair trade businesses).

Susan asked her friend John:
Did you know that the first programmer in history was a woman?
 John replied:
No wonder women were the most difficult creatures to understand.

Susan nodded and smiled.
​
John said:
I quite can't understand you.
You knew Peter (husband of Susan) was womanizing, and why do you expect he would change after marriage? He kept dating numerous women and had an affair with your best friend.   You loved him with no bottom line to forgive his betrayal instead. But when he turned to love you deeply and begged you to stay with him, you strictly rejected and left.

 Susan expected her husband would change for her, but  it did not happen. She had expected she could change for him, but it also did not happen either.

What she expected never happened.

Maybe the reality is never expected to change others. You can’t and will never succeed.  Therefore, you should be honest with yourself;
And allow your husband to be honest with himself.
​
 Always remember you always have the choice.
Unless you’re in prison, you don’t have to do anything. You choose to do things.  Like what we do for the laundry.
Do you like to do the laundry? No. 
Is anyone forcing you to do the laundry? No. 
Doing the laundry is a choice you make because you value being clean.  You do the laundry for your family members because you love them. When you see all the options you have, you can appreciate the choices you make.

You can already guess the point is to make appropriate trade-offs by optimizing your choice.  Honest to yourself.  Take responsibility for the choices you have made. 
And then, you realize that the reality is not as bad as you think
Or as good as you expect.
Accept what clashes, clashes.
What flows, flows.
Never border yourself to urge the other person to do the right thing.
It is ok to be not ok
As long as the (bad) feeling does not last forever
 
Lighten your expectations. Turn your expectations into appreciation.

More tips on resolve the problems  related to communication, money issue and   perspective conflicts.

Money is always the main issue that can trigger negative emotions such as anger, anxiety, fear, agitation, disappointment, and self-blame.    Financial struggles can hurt a couple's relationship as people often associate their self-worth, happiness, and success with money.  

What is your family money story? 
What is your financial habit?  

Is your financial status more than enough to support your basic living expenses?  If you are not, you would have a hard time quarreling with your spouse on the money issue all the time, and will eventually spoil the relationship.   Always remember,   you are the only person to take full responsibility for your financial security and not rely on others, not even on your husband.
​
What if you encounter a sudden financial downturn, such as facing business failure, getting fired, or suffering a devastating investment loss?  ​

I remember when I was fired, jobless, with nothing to do at home, and extremely bored. It was not funny to feel stuck up, drifting nowhere. A mixture of devastating feelings never short of anxiety, stress, fear, depression, and self-doubt.
What did I fear?
I fear there would be no company to offer me a job anymore
I fear age discrimination
I fear my bank account might dry out
I worry being unemployed for too long would make it difficult to re-enter the job market.
 
My fear caused me to make a poor decision. I speculated on the stock market for quick money.   No doubt it was a bad idea.   Gambling out of fear and greed would never solve the money problem.   During that period, I lost plenty of money.   I was greedy and feared losing money.   My poverty mentality made me regret every decision to buy and sell the stock at the wrong price.    

 When I gained less, I felt upset (due to greediness)
When I suffered loss, I was angry (due to self-blame)
As a result, negative emotions ensue whatever outcome from the speculation on the stock market.
 
However, how unlikely I could always pick the perfect stock, buy at the bottom cost, sell at the ceiling price, and optimize the profit.

And then, I realized that what goes around will come around. Desperation would attract desperation to spiral down.  If you start up your own business due to the fear of being fired by someone else in a poor economic condition, you are doomed to failure.  Success derives from positive intent. Always remember money flows with joy.

Relax, keep calm  with the mantra: 
Everything that happened was just right because I was where I should be.  Transform the perspective from poverty mentality to abundance mentality.

​What is the difference between an abundance mentality and a poverty mentality?

Poverty thinking:

• Opportunities are limited.
• Things will never work out.
• Wealth is beyond my reach.
• What I own now can be taken from me at any moment.

​You know what? Inspiration attracts inspiration to spiral up.  And miracles start to happen.
I finally successfully got employed with a decent salary in a corporate.

I was underpaid at my previous job, and when I ran my own business, I struggled to make a profit due to low pricing. 
One day, my friend asked me what did I think about money?
What pops up in my mind is something like:

• Selfishness
• Greedy
• Difficult to get
• Dirty

 Is it true that money is a scary evil thing that I should escape?
Traditional schooling rarely taught me financial education.  What if changing my perspective towards money to enhance my earning power?
 
The starting point is to re-program our concept about money with the mantra like:
I earn a lot of money by creating value for others
I deserve to own a lot of money.
Money flows with joy.

Always remember saving is a good financial habit. You won’t panic if you keep a certain amount of money as a safety net to secure the cash flow in case of an emergency or unexpected job loss.   How much savings in the bank is enough?
Have you ever confused the desire for fullness with the feeling of enough? 
Saving money is good. Enough is okay. Money is energy. Let it flow and move.

Whenever I tried to de-clutter my house, I was surprised that I had bought so many useless things I didn't need. Is it because online shopping has never been easier than the one-click shopping universe?

Advertisers, marketers, and the media make us believe that buying expensive products is a way to uplift our status and taste. Social media can make us feel like we are not obtaining enough when we compare ourselves to the seemingly perfect lives of our peers. How to avoid overspending?

• Record the time, money, and the stuff that you spend shopping. 
• Restrict yourself to spend time on online shopping
• Replace the shopping habit with other activities such as doing exercise or reading a book

​No doubt we are pleasure seekers. We get hooked on the pleasure that comes from caffeine, tobacco, entertainment, or premium stuff. Pleasure is short-term, addictive, and selfish. It works on dopamine. When the debt is easier than ever to go into, why even consider sacrificing the pleasure for the long-haul benefits? Does the long haul will take care of itself? It doesn’t. We have to define our context to prioritize our spending that can work for the money growth. Do you spend the money on the stuff that can grow your assets or pay for the liability?
Buying a house is building your asset
Paying the monthly rental is a liability.
Investing in a training course to acquire a valuable skill is an asset-building activity.
Buying an expensive Hermes bag to feel secure is a liability.

​Please don’t get me wrong to regard sharing money as merely donations. Let it flow to create value that could benefit yourself and others.

​For a man, what is the hardest thing for him to say?
I'm sorry, I'm wrong.
 
The hardest thing is not admitting you are wrong but apologizing without reason.
 
Man, if you have learned to apologize for no reason, you are ready to get married. The woman expects her husband to apologize after a fight to show that he cares more about her than the issue itself.
 
Men and women are beautifully different but made for each other, just like the beauty where water and rocks come together. How can the Earth and Mars get along with each other?

Ever wonder if toughness is a praising word for women? 
The name of the game is: I don’t need you.

She wants to conquer men, conquer the business, and conquer everything because she plays to win.   When she took the lead in the business battle to win the deal, she was so good at maneuvering the tactics and strategy far better than what you can read in the war book. 
However, she was frustrated to realize she still needed a man.

In fact, she didn’t mean to upset anyone.
She stands for her point with confidence.  In return, she expects her partner to agree with her idea and the support she had from him.  She has no idea she carries the bossy role at home until her husband asks her three questions:

• What’s your very act of asking me to do something?
• What’s your response to me when you think something goes wrong?
• Who’s the one to mention divorce first during a fight?

​A woman can’t stop yapping about this and that. She is loud. Maybe she is angry. She is ok because she merely vents her negative emotions.
 However, when she goes silent, she is not ok. She is upset with negative emotions.
 
 When a man feels unpleasant, he can't keep his mouth shut. He is in the fighting mode, or he may want to beat someone. When he goes silent, he is ok. He is just thinking.
 
 When your wife goes silent, apologize to her.
 When she is non-stop blah blah blah, let her talk.
 When your husband goes silent, never force him to talk.
 When he refuses to shut up, hug him.

​Women tend to have much stronger emotions, imaginations, and feelings than men.  They love to share their stories and express their thoughts and feelings by talking through them. 
Men, generally speaking, tend to be naturally wired to problem-solving when their partners want something simple.  When he finds no problem requiring him to fix, he has no idea how to relate the issue and tries to escape instead. 
 
Therefore,

​Guys need praise as much as you do.  Make your compliments to be clear and specific.  The verbal praise that a man would love to hear is not something related to his masculine body.  Tell him if you think he is a helpful partner to do the chores or tell him he is a caring father to play with the kids.  The praises make him feel grateful.  He would work even harder to prove he deserves your kind words.

​It's important to understand that many men crave respect and recognition from others.  Men often assert themselves and like to showcase their abilities to stand out.  Never expose his mistakes or point out what he did wrong in public, as this can damage his self-esteem and make him feel foolish.

Men desire freedom and space.
They tend to spend their time in work, toys, sports, or hanging out with other guys.  While men desire more freedom, their partners would appeal to connection and love. 

What can you do about this?
​
Never try to exert pressure, coercion, or influence upon a man.  He chooses to do the right thing for him.  If you take a decision away from a man by being a pursuer, he will resent you, lose attraction to and escape from you.  A magnetic attraction of a woman is her ability to make a man feel he can leave at any time, and he chooses to stay and commit.

​Which is the hardest for you to say?
I love you.
The hard part is not to say it but to prove it.
 
Three simple words: "I love you." It takes three seconds to say, three minutes to explain, and a lifetime to prove.
 
The fantasy of marriage is finding a perfect soulmate you are willing to spend a lifetime of romance is what it's all about. Someone who will be there for you through any circumstance, whom you can trust completely and feel safe with. Someone who considers you to be the only beloved person in his life.
 
Susan is searching for a long-term relationship and wants to marry a good man and raise the kids to live a happy life. She is frustrated when she finds out her husband betrayed her even though she had done everything to make everyone happy.
 
Amy has rapidly climbed the corporate ladder and has a loving spouse and adorable children, yet she is still unhappy.
 
Jenny is uncertain if it is fair to sacrifice her promising career for her marriage. Someone once sarcastically asked her if a woman can be half pregnant.  She wonders if it is possible to be a great wife and still achieve a successful career.
 
How about you?
 
Marriage is like riding a roller coaster.  There are highs and lows, and in between, you will grow.  ​  What will you do with your spouse when confront challenges from financial breakdown, miscommunication, emotions, and  expectation differences?

​One day, Susan was frustrated to complete her work and desperately asked me for help.
Peter: please help me otherwise I will lose my job.
Me: It may be good for you to consider changing your job.
 
Peter is angry to regard me as selfish and cold-heart.
 
People often describe me as an introvert. I love to spend time alone, speak little, and work at my own pace.  Very often, I appear in slow action because taking action is my weakness because I try to rationalize every decision instead of executing it.  Isolation and low-profile manner make me hard to team up with people to do the work.   Too much reliance on self-effort will slow down the working progress to leap forward.
 
Studying the enneagram helped me understand my worldview and motivation.
 
What do I want? I want more and get used to deep thinking and learning.
The drive is greediness by reserving as much as possible.
 
While many people buy luxury stuff based on spontaneous desire, I will take time to think about the justification of the value as if I am a penny pincher.  It is quite a big deal for me as I will consider if I pay for this luxury, the money in my wallet will become less.
 
I regard the world as operated by finite resources in scarcity as if playing a zero-sum game. Consumption means loss. I adopt the scarcity model of pizza. I won't have much left if you take a slice of it.
 
It is not easy for me to get along with my boss. I hate to work on a tight schedule. When my boss criticizes me for not working hard enough, I will focus on improving the system.
 
What is the hard part of confining my happiness? How can I achieve a breakthrough?
 
Infinite of abundance vs Finite of Scarcity
Learn to get over the feeling of finite scarcity of resources due to the scaring of shortage. 
Open my eyes and my guts to the wondrous smorgasbord of life.
Believe that I am prosperous to receive and enjoy the abundance of: 
Health
Relationship
Time
Knowledge
Comfort
Beauty
Wealth
 
Scaring for the shortage is merely a feeling or an opinion. When I feel the abundance, I will no longer keep checking the gain and loss on the balance sheet. 
I would get used to creating more value for realizing my abundance by breaking through my self-limiting beliefs.
 
Like eating a buffet to find an abundance of food available.
No rush to get my share. 
I know I can fill up my plate as much as I want.  I won’t mind the one next to me taking the food I like because there is plenty and the food will re-fill. 
 
How about you?
 
What is your worldview or core beliefs?      
What do you want to focus on others that provoke conflicts?      
What is your drive for acting the way you do?     
How do you act around someone you do not like? Judging/dismissive/indifferent          
What is the core drive of your emotions?
Fear/anger/jealous  
How does your emotion affect the way you treat others? Confrontation/Power over/Pathetic/pushover      
What are your expectations of others?        
What are your expectations of yourself?     
What is the one particular lesson you shall learn to reverse the repeated tendency?     

#1. Perfectionist
#2. Giver
​#3.    Performer

​The answer is, to be honest with yourself. It sounds simple but not easy.
Someone asked you to change your cooking menu, and you accepted.
Your friend begged you to drive her to the supermarket even if you were busy, and you did so.
Someone asked you to follow his way, and you agreed.
 
You hated to say yes, but you settled because of
Convenience;
Stop the conflicts or disputes;
Avoid the troubles;
Fear of authority;
Fear of someone unhappy.
 
When you decide to settle, you regard yourself as a victim, as if you are in prison with no choice. You feel upset because you are not proud of yourself for what you have done.
Unless you’re in prison, you don’t have to do anything. You choose to do things.  Let's use what we do for our laundry as an example:
Do you like to do the laundry? No. 
Is anyone forcing you to do the laundry? No. 
Doing the laundry is a choice you make because you value being clean.  You do the laundry for your family members because you love them. When you see all the options you have, you can appreciate the choices you make.
You can already guess the point is to make appropriate trade-offs by optimizing your choice.  Honest to yourself.  Take responsibility for your choice, and you will feel good about yourself.